Diet Water
by x.Ales.x
Summary: When Reno and Zack have a conversation, nothing good can ever happen. Reno managed to somehow convince Zack that there is such a thing as diet water, and Zack's friends are left to deal with the aftermath.


A/N: There's a hint of ASGZC in this. Just getting that out there in case it's not your cup of tea.

Zack, Cloud, Sephiroth and Genesis sat in the dining room of Angeal's apartment. This had become an almost daily ritual seeing as how none of the others could cook, expect for Cloud. When the group wasn't at Angeal's place, they were all at either Zack's or Sephiroth's where Cloud would cook for them. Angeal came out of the kitchen, and all four of the awaiting men looked at him expectantly. Ignoring their waiting stares, he turned to Cloud. "Come help me finish dinner?" he questioned. Cloud nodded and stood, following Angeal into the kitchen.

"What do you need help with?"

"Setting the table and getting drinks mostly." Cloud nodded again and grabbed plates from the cupboard and placed them on the counter. He gathered knives and forks, placing them on top of the plates. Cloud went back to the dining room, leaning on the door frame.

"What do you guys want to drink?" he asked.

"Coffee."

"Wine."

"Diet water." Three sets of eyes turned to Zack. Each and every face held the same dumbfounded expression.

"What did you just say?" Sephiroth asked incredulously. Sure he knew the boy had his moments, but _diet water?_ Nobody could be that stupid.

Cloud, refusing to acknowledge the teen's antics, shook his head and turned back to the kitchen. He could hear guffaws of laughter coming from Genesis, and he heard Sephiroth trying to explain to Zack the fact that there's no such thing as diet water. Sephiroth was unable to sway the boy from his beliefs, and his voice soon became louder and louder as he tried to drill the truth into Zack's thick skull. Angeal turned to Cloud. "What is it this time?" he said, noting the sound of the angry General and the hysterical Genesis.

"Zack asked for diet water." Cloud didn't even bother looking at the man while he started making Sephiroth's coffee. Because of this, he missed the look of complete and utter horror on the older man's face.

"He didn't . . ."

"Did." Once the coffee was brewing, Cloud walked to the cabinet where Angeal kept the wine and liquor. He grabbed a nearby wine glass and poured an expensive red wine into it for Genesis. He put the bottle back and took the glass to the red-headed Commander who was currently face-down on the table, his body convulsing with fits of laughter. Cloud placed the glass in front of the man and casually walked back to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and walked to the sink, filling it with water. By this time, Sephiroth's coffee was done, so Cloud set down Zack's water on the counter and grabbed mug from the counter beside the coffee pot. He filled the mug to the brim, not bothering with sugar or creamer, knowing the General preferred it black. He grabbed Zack's glass off the counter and walked out of the kitchen with both drinks in hand.

Angeal had already served the food, and they were all waiting for Cloud to sit down. Sephiroth took the offered coffee and grabbed Zack's water to hand to the awaiting teen. Cloud took his seat next to Sephiroth, across from Angeal. When Zack took his glass, he questioned, "Is this diet?"

All eyes turned to the puppy once again. "You're serious aren't you?" Angeal asked, frowning at the teen.

"Yes. I need to start watching my figure; I've really started to let myself go," he said, patting his rather non-existent stomach. "So, is this diet?"

"Zack. There is no such thing as diet water; who told you there was?" Everyone except Cloud was watching, expectant of the answer. Cloud on the other hand, was eating, tuning out the conversation, already knowing the outcome.

" . . . Reno." Everyone listening sighed. Cloud smirked, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"You listened to that fool?" Genesis asked, wanting to throttle the red-headed Turk. Zack looked down in shame.

"He's right about a lot of things," Zack protested.

"Name three." Zack looked at the ceiling in thought.

"A broken clock is right two times a day, Sephiroth has a mother complex, and Cloud decided to get a tattoo," he said matter-of-factly. All eyes turned away from Zack and to Cloud who was now choking on his food. Once he managed to clear his windpipe, Cloud stared at Zack.

"What did you say?" he said, glaring daggers at the puppy that began shrinking back in his seat. All eyes shifted from Cloud to the cowering teen. If Zack was trying to divert attention away from himself, he succeeded. The whole 'diet water' incident was now forgotten, and everyone was focused on Cloud.

"Reno told me that you got a tattoo." Everyone looked back to Cloud. It was like watching a game of tennis; their heads going back and forth between the two youngest in the room.

"He lied."

"Did not."

"What did he tell you I got a tattoo of?" Cloud spat, staring intensely at the raven haired teen.

"A wolf," he said, grinning. Cloud sputtered. Zack knew. Now Angeal, Sephiroth, and Genesis knew.

"Where?"

"Right shoulder blade."

"How the hell did he know that?!" Cloud yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Cloud made sure nobody ever saw the ink on his shoulder. He didn't want anyone to know about it until he was ready to tell everyone himself. Hiding it from all four of them was almost impossible seeing as how almost all of them, excluding Angeal of course, were trying to get him out of his clothes. At this point, everyone except Zack was staring at him, mouths agape.

"He saw you in the training room without a shirt." Cloud felt his eye twitch. "Damn you Reno," he muttered. Sephiroth finally snapped out of his stupor, reaching for the hem of Cloud's shirt. "What are you doing?!" Cloud screamed, trying to keep his shirt down, though he was no match for the General. Cloud's shirt was ripped over his head, and he was spun around in his chair so everyone could see his now bare back. Everyone at the table gasped.

On his shoulder was a black and white wolf, howling. Cloud felt warm, calloused fingers trail across his flesh. "When did you get this?" Angeal asked.

"About a month ago." Angeal sighed. Cloud abruptly stood, snatching his shirt from the General's grasp and stalked to the living room, plopping down on the couch, still shirtless. "Why did Zack have to mention it?" he muttered. "He needs to stick to saying idiotic things." Cloud began pouting as he heard the conversation pick back up—mostly about his new tattoo. Then out of nowhere, he heard Zack pipe up.

"So is there really no such thing as diet water?" There was a collective sigh, and the sound of someone's head slamming against the table could be heard—most likely Sephiroth. At least the conversation was turned away from Cloud's new tattoo and the fact that he hid it from the rest of them for a month. Cloud rested his elbows on his knees and slumped over, placing his head in his hands. This was going to be a long night.

Final A/N: Yay, I'm not dead! Sheesh, I don't even know how long my disappearance lasted this time. I had this story sitting on my computer for a while and finally decided to edit it and post it. Hopefully this will tide those who follow my other story (The Puppy) over until I can get myself on track enough to get a new chapter out. As soon as I sit down to get writing, it seems like something always comes up. Sigh. I promise I will try to get out a nice long chapter soon. No promises though. Anywho, thanks for reading this and thanks to all the lovelies who keep me going. ~Ales


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